Shields, Swords & Elections.
Fridge Warriors: Chapter 3
Ramakozi is a worried warrior.
He has been the leader of the UVF (United Viking Front) for approximately 7 years. He replaced Jaza Uma when his presidency was scarred by allegations of racketeering, money laundering and sexual misconduct. And when he took over the reins of the party, he vowed to put an end to bribery and corruption. Unfortunately, that has not yet happened and it's nearly the end of his term. With the yearly re-election of the presidency from within the ruling party around the corner, Ramakozi is petrified that he won't be the chosen candidate. (The fact that he was caught with $5 Millon worth of shields and swords in his basement is not helping his case)
The same shipment of shields and swords disappeared two months prior from a warehouse belonging to the McFear Clan. Now, although Ramakozi is part of the McFear Clan he is also the president of the *UVF and he used to have a very big support base.
(*The United Viking Front is a political party that rule the underworld of Cape Town. Although the underworld is home to various Viking Clans that continuously fight for the right to raid human kitchens, they still need a governing body that control their daily lives. Maintain the tunnels, build marketplaces, service the ropes that give access to the human world, remove waste from private dwellings, manage Eishkom etc. The organization consists of Vikings from different Clans, but, over the last 30 years, the influence of the McFear Clan became more and more. …)
Jacques
So, what is the story of Ramakozi and the shipment of Shields and Swords found in his basement? Well, the plot thickens to a gooey sort of paste as it came to light that that same shipment was about to be delivered to the McCrimini Clan. Keeping in mind that Ramakozi has already been paid for it.
Was Ramakozi the middleman between goods stolen from his Clan and sold to their enemy, and was that the first time this kind of atrocity happened?
That is the question on all the Viking's lips as the UVF party readies itself for election.
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Tonight, there will be another battle…
Viking underworld address: The battlefield of human house no 55, Sector 69 underneath the suburb of Woodstock.
Human address: Underneath the fridge of 55 Albert Road, Woodstock – Cape Town.
Humans in the house: 1 Elderly lady.
Pets: 1 Black and white cat.
Battle time: 11 pm.
Warrior Clans: The Mcbruntels VS The McCrimini.
The Prize: Toenail fungi from the elderly lady's unclipped toenails and the chance to raid her kitchen. This specific lady is known for not washing her dishes. She loves peanut butter sandwiches and always leave half-eaten slices with *peanut butter on them lying around.
Jacques
(*Fridge Warriors use Peanut Butter as part of a secret recipe to create 'magic dust' – See Fridge Warriors – Introduction)
The leaders of The McBruntel Clan are standing underneath the ropes leading up to the battlefield. (Underneath every human house ropes are hanging down from underneath the fridges. These 'ropes' are the gateway to the human world. The main link between the Viking underworld and the strange human world on top)
Behind Samson and Sharon stand the rest of the warriors in silence. Dressed in full battle dress code. It's quite a sight to see. Two centimeter tall, little Viking warriors holding battles axes, hammers, steel pipes, crossbows, shields and swords.
Keeping to their Fridge Warrior custom, they are waiting for their opponents to arrive so that both warring parties can climb the ropes together and take up their positions on the battlefield. (Underneath the fridge of 55 Albert rd, Woodstock)
Samson is tired of waiting and is now making chit-chat with his beautiful and cold-hearted wife.
"Did you hear about Ramakozi?" he matter-of-factly asks her.
"What, about selling weapons to the McCrimini Clan? Yes, I have. Is it true?" Sharon is immediately agitated and reminds herself of the fact that the UVF is also dealing with Eishkom.
"Ramakozi and the rest of the UVF are supposed to fight for the upliftment of all the Vikings in the underworld! However, it seems as if they just want to enrich themselves.", says Samson.
"Yea, look what they have done to Eishkom…." Says Sharon and releases a big snort through her sexy nose.
In the meantime, the McCrimini Clan has been arriving in drips and drabs underneath the other set of ropes. A new Clan that has been making a name for itself over the last few months. Not a Clan with a thousand years of proud family history, oh no, but rather a bunch of career criminals that decided to stand together.
"Look, the others have arrived." Says Samson and grip the handle of his sword a little tighter.
"I'm telling you, Ramakozi and The McCrimini are doing business together. We need to get the truth from them."
"Let's go and break some skulls," says Samson and give the signal for the rest of the warriors to start climbing the ropes.
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The big yearly presidential election of the United Viking Front is about to start. This will decide who will be the head of the party until the national elections take place next year.
Ramakozi is trying his best to calm down the crowd so that the meeting can take place. Unfortunately for him, there is a big crowd of supporters for his nemesis, corrupt politician Muskov. They are chanting and cheering while singing 'struggle' songs and wearing anti-ramakozi t-shirts. Question is, will these rebels produce enough voting power to topple the regime of Ramakozi and usher in a new era under Muskov?
Fast forward 24 hours: The Viking Independent Electoral Commission has just finished counting the votes. Ramakozi got re-elected. The rebels have been silenced.
With a big smile on his mischievous face, Ramakozi addresses the crowd:
"My fellow Vikings", he says with a cocky voice.
"It has been proven that you want me to lead you. As always, I will fight against corruption. I will fight for all the Vikings of all the Clans so that we can all have access to solar power provided by Eishkom. I will make sure that the right service providers are appointed to the correct departments", he says while thinking of the thick brown envelope in his pocket.
"My fellow Fridge Warriors, I salute you!", he shouts and waves sheepishly to the crowd.
The crowd responds with a half-hearted applause. The vast majority did not vote for this man. Did the Viking Independent Electoral Commission count the votes correctly or did they receive brown envelopes?
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Jacques
The McBruntel and the McCrimini Clans are now positioned on the battlefield underneath the fridge of human house 55 in sector 69 underneath the suburb of Woodstock. They have been staring at each other for 5 minutes now.
Samson is the one breaking the silence:
"Let's do it, let's go win the right to raid the old lady's home", and with that said he let go of another signature war cry, so loud that it woke up the cat.
The two groups run at each other at great speed. Battle axes and swords in the air. They collide with a big bang and the sound of steel against steel, flesh against flesh.
It was a short battle as usual. The McCrimini Clan might be superior when it comes to bribery and corruption, but they are not a match on the battlefield. Within 5 minutes Samson and Sharon had the McCrimini leader, Akema, pinned down with a sword against his neck. He had to gather his warriors and retreat down the ropes back to the underworld.
The McBruntels won the right to raid the old lady's home.
"Let's go deal with that cat", says Sharon.
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Jacques
